(Editor’s note: We’re going to lightly redefine “cheap” for our Cheap Heap of the Week series. We at Totally That Stupid realize the used car market fluctuates, sometimes greatly; look at the cost differences between our pre-COVID, during-COVID, and now post-COVID worlds. From now on we will dwell less on absolute dollars and look more at the perceived value of the asking price. Because, given enough runway, we can rationalize pretty much anything.)

Around these parts there is a recurring question when discussing pretty much any vehicle at any price point: “Sure. Neat car, if you want one. But what else could you get for that?”

Ten grand isn’t a lot of money when looking at older large four-door luxury sedans, those destined through the magic of brutal depreciation to be pressed into daily service. You’re scoping cars that have some room for you, your friends and/or family, and a bunch of stuff. You probably want it to look nice and go down the road well. Gas in the good ol’ U-S-of-A is still relatively cheap. Regular buyers are mostly – and sadly – looking for an automatic transmission. Not you, dear reader. Of course not. But regular buyers.

Because you are a connoisseur of taste and class, you’re probably looking at the usual German suspects like a BMW 7 Series, a big Audi, or an S-Class Benz. Perhaps something a little more subtle and a lot more reliable like a Lexus LS400. Supposing you want to intimidate the kids in their jalopies (and disregarding the aforementioned luxury, taste, and class), you might lean toward an ex-cop Dodge Charger.

In the case of today’s CHOTW, the answer to the “what else” question is this 1989 Bentley Eight, in suburban Chicago, for just a finski under ten large.

Introduced in 1984, the Eight was the entry-level model of the series. No long wheelbase was offered, but as the “sporting” version the suspension was tightened up a bit. With an MSRP about 10% less than the Mulsanne S, the Eight was tasked with bringing newer (read: younger) buyers into the fold. That 10% cost savings came from a mild decontenting – no lambswool carpets or rear companion mirrors for you, peasant – but as the years went by some of said content was slowly added back in.

For the year and miles, not to mention the fact it may be offered by a used car lot that doesn’t appear to have a website, this Bentley looks the absolute business. The black paint, the brightwork, the racy mesh grille, and the 17-inch alloy wheels give it a charming yet menacing look. Credit also the four piercing round headlights that for 1989 replaced the carline’s flush lamps.

By the way, to give you a sense of the vehicle’s scale, those four lamps are each 7 inches across rather than the standard 5.75 inches you’d find on more plebian rides.

The sides look straight and the trim appears present and accounted for. You might spot some corrosion on the driver’s side rear quarter just aft of the wheel, but you’re going to use this as a year-’round daily anyway. Regardless, the seller states the car has a “solid body” but is also “very original.” Sometimes those two things complement each other, sometimes they don’t.

Inside we find wood with a deep luster and acres of all-leather-cow upholstery, as befits England’s finest. Areas of the leather have some scratches and maybe some sagging, but given the quality of the hides originally used that will quite literally buff out. Nothing looks grossly out of place – or gross – and the holes in the dashboard for the cellular phone bracket are period-correct.

I’m not even mad at the column shifter, a standard “feature” up through about 1992-1993, and another point of debate around the TTS Scotch bottle. That’s how great it all looks.

When new, the 6.75-liter V8 made “adequate” horsepower and torques. Figure over the indicated 143k miles some of those adequates may have fallen by the wayside. That said, the engine and accompanying three-speed Hydramatic transmission – despite pushing around 5,000+ pounds – have probably lived fairly relaxed lives. The car sits level so for a moment let’s assume believe the suspension is healthy. The seller has “recent” paperwork for parts and service, but that may mean nothing because…

This Bentley Eight first crossed my screen a while ago. At the time, I think it had been for sale for 20+ weeks; now the ad says it’s been available for a year. To be fair, the seller says he’s in no rush to sell. Given the time posted and price – “Will Sell for right price or Best Offer!” – who really knows if it’s still available, or if it ever existed in the first place.

What’s the right price? I have no idea. The absolute poseurdom of dropping your kid off to school or heading to the drive-in or picking up your vintage Bally loafers from the cobbler in a (potentially tatty) youngtimer Bentley is compelling, at least for a little bit. There’s a joke in there somewhere about looking cheap for rich.

Still, it’s tempting to see if this level of silly (or stupid, if you prefer) is priced somewhere in the neighborhood of $9,995. Right now I can’t think of what other daily-grade luxury barge would provide that.