Welcome back to Cheap Heap of the Week, wherein your authors find you the best running, driving, and perhaps even interesting cars for short money. But, wait: What is “short money” these days?
Back in 2020 when we started this series, the $2,000 limit we set was based on two things. The first was I discovered my bank had increased my daily ATM withdrawal amount such that in two days I could have two grand burning a hole in my Levi’s. The second was, at the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic, interesting used cars were still relatively cheap.
The former thing, to my knowledge, has not changed. But the latter certainly has. Used cars, even heaps, are no longer cheap. Reviewing the introductory article for this series, plus a glance at some of the later entries, I’m a little stunned at what you could land in your driveway for $2,000.
That got your hosts wondering if this series still made sense. New cars are expensive, sure. Good, non-heap used cars are, too. Since many of those used vehicles are as good – arguably better in some cases – than a brand-new car, the value in the non-heap market has stayed pretty strong. This in turn has given rise to the lower tiers, heaps included.
So what if we just scientifically (read: arbitrarily) adjust for inflation plus add some more money because reasons and increased the minimum ante to, say, $3,500? Would that net us some interesting projects prospects?
While we love them here at TTS, the first generation Legend always felt like a posh Honda Accord. The second generation Legend, however, was a game-changer. Its handsome shape looked like nothing else in any Honda or Acura showroom. The longitudinally-mounted (and why not in a front-wheel-drive car?) 3.2-liter V6 was smooth and characterful. Manual transmissions were readily available. The interior was tasteful yet luxurious with big clear gauges and old-fashioned Honda ergonomics.
I worked at an Acura dealership in Milford, Connecticut, when these had just launched. Subsequently, I drove a fair number of them. They weren’t BMWs, but they were something quite special at the time. Indeed, an Acura dealership in 1991 was a very cool place to be.
This example is all that plus 203,000 miles and 30+ years. If all of the known weak spots on these cars are working as well as the seller says – head gaskets aren’t leaking, transmission is still shifting, Bose speaker amplifiers still making happy sounds – we can happily overlook the scorched bonded leather upholstery (an affliction many high-zoot Japanese brands suffered during this era) and some other minor cosmetic needs.
And it’s brown. People like brown, apparently.
1998 Ford Contour SVT – $3,000
I have a bit of a soft spot for these. For one, my old buddy Ken had one and he always spoke highly of it, right up until the engine seized. Lack of oil or lack of mechanical sympathy? We’ll never know. Secondly, this was from a time Ford made small, interesting, go-quick cars under the SVT moniker that weren’t named Mustang. These and the Focus SVT were fun, and would give their import competitors a bit of a headache.
This example at first glance presents fairly well. The paint is shiny and the original wheels look nice. The interior isn’t completely thrashed. Under the hood seems clean but not Armor Mauled. By the pictures we’re looking at some cosmetic requirements to include a bit of upholstery and a headliner, at least a partial paint correction, and sourcing several small trim bits that may or may not still exist in the wild.
The seller states in the ad description they have put “lots of work” into it but due to “life changes” they have to let it go. For reasons unknown, I actually watched the first video linked in the ad. I had in my head this was a cosmetically okay example that had suffered some major mechanical downfall that somehow required a video. Wait for the turn, the penny-drop, and call your local wrecking company.
Boy was I completely wrong. I won’t recap everything here, but this person has put an exhaustive amount of mechanical work into this thing since 2014. Engine components, suspension bushings, brakes, even interior and upholstery repairs. They claim to also have additional leather to fix the passenger seat. It currently doesn’t pass smog in California after sitting idle for a year, but that may be an easily solvable problem.
I was admittedly ready to pooh on this ad and this car, but I’m actually kind of digging it. I hope the seller finds a good home for this rare little sedan.
Oil changes and timing belts
That is all
An old Honda wants from this world
Whether to run to our moon
And return
Or to drive until Sol
Shrivels and withholds its warmth from this lonely planet.
The lightness will shine in the drive
Nimble moves witnessed through a low cowl
And multilink suspension
Ingesting air and fuel through a replacement Weber carburetor
Propelled through five forward speeds
Arriving eventually at thirty-two miles per gallon
While thirteen-inch wheels ensure tires from a Chinese brand.
The windows move by noble crank
As conditioned air lays dormant
Pop-up headlights set nostalgia ablaze
Leaving only
Basic requirements
Oil changes and timing belts.
(And absolution from the tin worm)
In the Before Times, when this series capped its spending at $2,000, it was challenging to find an unmolested, running NA (first-generation) Mazda Miata within budget. Nowadays, it’s tough to find the same car at the new budget. To be fair, $3,500 will still get you a Miata, but it’s probably not one you want.
So for our fun, two-seat drop-top options we find ourselves looking a bit further afield.
Full disclosure: The TR7 is not my favorite British sports car. I’ve never loved the wedge style. Preposterously large bumpers that now feel nostalgic on some other cars from this era still look kind of dumb here. Mechanically the TR7 is not very interesting save the Saab slant-four engine connection. In this color combination – what we will charitably call Manilla Folder on Walmart Seat Cover – it’s not visually interesting, either.
At $2,700, this TR7 straddles the line between cheap summer car you can casually wrench on and disposable sports car.
Or does it? There are not a lot of these around any more, and while this one still has needs – even after the seller has “replaced or repaired too many parts to list” – it seems you could just get in a drive it around. Maybe don’t try to drive it home from Auburn, Massachusetts, to Minneapolis, but certainly down the block for some ice cream. The fact that it’s still here, and that someone has lavished a bunch of attention on it, I think speaks to its appeal.
Maybe that’s how cars like this stick around, and how they found homes in the first place.
With that, welcome back to the series! Leave a comment below on which of these Heaps you’d find some space for. And if you find yourself with that Contour SVT, let us know how it’s going.
Totally That Stupid 
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