Welcome to the first eponymous posting on Totally That Stupid, where we examine the basic premise of the website. That is, “A [insert vehicle, thing, idea]? Sure. I’m totally that stupid!”
Today we bring you a 1972 Pontiac Catalina Convertible. It’s on Craigslist in Minneapolis, Minnesota. We won’t be providing a link since Craigslist postings go dead after some amount of time. Instead, let’s examine the few pictures and the description and then interpret their meaning not only as words but also in the greater landscape of stupidity.
American convertibles falling out of the regular Chevelle-GTO-Mustang-Cuda realm are more easily attained since their lack of iconic status keeps the prices at least closer to the center of reasonable. Those cars, even in just driver quality with only decent options, will ring the cash register with a resounding thwack. Add a ragtop and it gets worse. While the old chestnut of “Top goes down, price goes up” certainly rings true, so does “Size goes up, price goes down.” A Pontiac Grandeville or Ford LTD convertible costs a fraction of their GTO or Mustang brethren.
Add rust to the equation and the odds topple harder and faster in your direction.
In fact, let’s get that rust part out of the way right now. This Catalina’s floor has a hole in the back seat area, probably because the top is tired. There’s a hole in the driver’s side rear quarter panel as well, or maybe it’s in the trunk. Not sure. The interior is tired, but it has new brakes and tires on cool looking Torque Thrust II wheels. The black paint has some kind of purple ghost flames that don’t show up in the pictures but are probably very evident in your driveway, where you least want them.
The seller wants $2750.00 for this gem because, “the wife wants it gone.” Those are the magic words, in my opinion. And while autumn is knocking hard on the door here in Minnesota, I say this is the best time to buy a drop-top. Replacement convertible tops are relatively cheap, these tubby American barges generally have good heaters, and since there is already rust you won’t be afraid to roll this monster all year ’round. Throw a really good coat of wax on it, hose the underside with undercoating, and run it until it drops.
“Why deal with a convertible, especially an old one, in winter?” you ask. Because even during the season that kills the weak like fireflies in a sealed jar, there will invariably be some nice days when you can drop the top, crank the heat, and mock the poor bastard in the generic winter beater box next to you.
Pretty sure said bastard won’t have purple ghost flames.